1) Caught unaware - I have been bullied in my childhood. The memories came flooding in a coaching session with my own coach where I was discussing how to be a better salesperson for my business venture which is into leadership coaching. You may wonder how bullying relates to sales, but my brain was able to make sense and was even able to release some blocked feelings that day. The human mind is complex - the subconscious mind being the more powerful and bigger component than the conscious one. Every night the mind processes and stores the day’s experiences and events. If the memories are traumatic, like a bullying episode, they get stored in the deep recesses of the subconscious and start to impact one’s behaviour in different ways. 2) Prepared yet not courageous - Over time, I fortified my mind by developing better attitudes; reaching out for support from friends and family; sometimes not caring about others and predominantly by connecting with my stronger self. Some people when entrusted with power start misusing it. People often say nothing out of fear lest they also become targets. But ignoring bullying contributes to a toxic work environment. In an earlier organization, when faced with a bully in the form of a superior with significant authority, I cowered silently to his dominating behavior towards me and later repented that why I didn’t stand up for myself. 3) Calm, courageous, yet not at peace - The bullying came back again. This time I witnessed it happening to a colleague. A flurry of emotions, past memories gave me the courage to speak up in a room full of people. What worked was that I was calm when I called it out, which helped in no heated reactions from the person bullying. Over the next few days, I was not at ease. Even though my team felt I did the right thing, I was not sure if the bully realized about the impact it can cause on others as my intent was not really to hurt anyone. 4) Empathy, Calmness, standing up and peace – In a coaching session, the topic of bullying came up again. This time for a client who also was subjected to bullying at school. She felt the same unease and had tried ignorance, calmness, standing up for herself already. She didn’t want to be angry as she felt she did not want to give the power to control to the bully. On further probing, she could empathize with him that he is not as happy as her which allowed her to feel sorry for him instead of getting angry. This realization closed the loop for me as well and I found my peace with bullying - If you witness bullying, stay calm, speak up, and have empathy towards all in the picture! By making people aware of their own wrong behavior and giving support and space to others to be themselves you help create an inclusive culture in the organization. As a conscious leadership coach at SunnyConnect, I offer a non judgmental space to hear your unsaid emotions, arising from recent events or the distant past. As you get them off your chest, I nudge you in the direction of what you want to do about the situation. Do you have something to share or add on to the above list?
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